What is Positive Discipline?

Positive Discipline is a program designed to teach young people to become responsible, respectful and resourceful members of their community.

People don’t use the word discipline these days but I like it because it’s from the Latin word discipulus "learner" and discere "learn” and our job as parents is to support our children in becoming learners. it means to Research tells us that children are hardwired from birth to connect with others, and that children who feel a sense of connection to their family, community, and school are less likely to misbehave. To be successful, contributing members of their community, children must learn necessary social and life skills. The word discipline comes from the Latin word discipulus "learner" and discere "learn."Our job then as parents is to help our children learn.

Jane Nelsen gives these 5 criteria for effective discipline*

  1. Helps children feel a sense of connection. Belonging and significance.

  2. Is mutually respectful and encouraging. Kind and firm at the same time.

  3. Is effective long-term. Considers what the child is thinking, feeling, learning, and deciding about himself and his world – and what to do in the future to survive or to thrive.

  4. Teaches important social and life skills. Respect, concern for others, problem solving, and cooperation as well as the skills to contribute to the home, school and larger community.

  5. Invites children to discover how capable they are. Encourages the constructive use of personal power and autonomy.

The Positive Discipline model is aimed at teaching parents to employ kindness and firmness at the same time and is neither punitive nor permissive.

The tools of Positive Discipline include:

  • Mutual respect

  • Identifying the belief behind the behavior

  • Effective communication and problem solving skills

  • Discipline that teaches

  • Focusing on solutions instead of punishment

  • Encouragement

For more information, visit positivediscipline.org.

* Based on the best selling Positive Discipline books by Dr. Jane Nelsen, Lynn Lott, Cheryl Erwin, Kate Ortolano, Mary Hughes, Mike Brock, Lisa Larson and others.