For this moment, good enough is just right
Our current situation
I’ve been thinking about you. This is a tough time for everyone, including parents.
It’s extraordinarily important that we’re compassionate with ourselves right now.
My hope for you is that in between the chaos and overwhelm of juggling it all, you have moments of sweet connection with your children and even some clarity for yourself.
You’re just where you need to be.
If you’re working in one of our many essential services, thank you, thank you, thank you. For my friends in hospital settings, you’re on my mind and in my heart everyday.
Sunday night, watching 60 Minutes, I was reminded of a phrase that is so important in this moment. The army general responsible for overseeing the building of temporary hospitals across the country said they were using a “good enough design.” Not perfect, but good enough is what’s called for right now.
Good enough is what’s called for right now. Embrace it.
The other day I lost my temper with my daughter as I found her empty dishes around the house (she knows they belong in the dishwasher) and a dog fur covered carpet (that I’d asked her to vacuum hours before). I found her in her room, curled up on her bed (this is hard for her too) when I came in and scolded her, “why haven’t you _________?!” She responded “You didn’t give me any time!”
Exasperated, I huffed and puffed (thankfully I didn’t blow the house down!) and left the house to do an essential errand, fully aware that trying to work it out in the heat of the moment wouldn’t be helpful.
The next morning I made a simple and genuine apology, “I’m sorry I got upset with you yesterday. Did that scare you or make you mad?”
She said it was okay and that she didn’t want to talk about it.
This is no time to push.
This is no time to push. My nervous energy and need to clean is a longing for control. I’ve decided to slow down, do the cleaning I see that needs to be done, and to ask for help when I feel calm (not angry or afraid).
It’ll be good enough.
In the midst of this new coronavirus life I notice I feel most calm, connected and clear when I’m engaged in helping others: cooking for my family, giving a box of disinfectant wipes to a friend (that’s love!), or picking up items for neighbors when I make a run to the store.
These past two weeks I’ve been collecting a list of free resources I thought you might find helpful.
Resources
- Here’s a list of of free on-line meditation resources compiled by the Awake Network
- Here’s an easy way to get local (Northern California only) produce delivered to your home. You’ll save money on your first box if you use my referral code: LISA8836
- Here’s a 2 month free trial for Daily Burn, a fitness website offering everything from meditation to kettlebells!
Parenting
- Coping with Fear In the Face of the Pandemic by Dr. Laura Markham
- How to Help Teens Shelter in Place by Christine Carter
- Free Q & A videos from Sproutable (based on Positive Discipline) on a variety of topics – geared toward parenting younger children.
Educational
- Scholastic Magazines: free Scholastic teaching remotely resources broken down by grade.
- All Kids Network: free worksheets + craft ideas
- Ranger Rick: free subscription for learning about wildlife and nature
- Disney Free Interactive Lessons: offered through Khan Academy, these are interactive lessons by artists, designers, and and engineers who create theme parks
- Out School: free courses for kids while home; offering a wide variety of courses for everything from languages to life skills
- 161 FREE PBS Science Documentaries: not a bad way to keep your kids entertained while you’re trying to get some work done
- Skill Share: offers courses to learn almost anything
- My Name Is Coronavirus: an activity book to help explain Covid-19 to young children
My sister inspired our family to start a daily gratitude list. I’ve set up an easel in the dining room to collect our silver linings. Here’s a sampling:
- Hearing the birds singing & smelling the clean air
- Being able to walk around outside
- My husbands calm demeanor and positive attitude
- Middle school humor!
- Time with family
- Home cooked meals
