A mom of three kids, one of my favorite times of day is when everyone is tucked in for the night. Then I get to crawl into bed and choose from the stack of books on my nightstand. Tonight my son came in just as I was settling into cozy contemplation and about to nod off. He asked,

Mom, can you come and lay with me while I go to sleep?

Important note: he’s 13… not 3!

Before I tell you what I did, flash back ten minutes before he entered my room. I’m reading Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly in which she references John Gottman’s “sliding door” moments. Sliding door moments are the seemingly inconsequential everyday moments that make or break the most important relationships in our lives. In these moments we have either the possibility of connection or turning away. Of course it doesn’t boil down to one moment but rather the trend established over time. Gottman says that trust erodes very slowly if we continue to turn away.

Back to this moment with my son. My body was bone weary and ached to stay in bed. However, in front of me was a clear choice between building and keeping connection or shutting the door and turning away.

I decided to pull myself out of bed… to turn toward him.

CONSIDER⇔SHARE⇔ACT