A Special Kind of Endurance
If you’ve ever loved a child suffering with addiction (or mental health issues, learning differences, social challenges or any of the other tough situations that young people face), you know how hard and painful it is to let go while also being present and not giving up. Parenting calls upon the limits of human endurance.*
Loving Them Anyway
loving our child despite the hard times is what builds trust. This call for our endless thereness is one reason parenting is so challenging, but it is also why it has the potential to radically change us. Kids give us the opportunity to love another person not because they are always lovable, but because we’ve made the commitment to love them.
Are You Full of Yourself?
Our family had an unspoken mantra: Even if you’re good at something, don’t show it. It was a self preservation of sorts. Make yourself small so no one can cut you down.
Decades later, when I picked my daughter up from pre-school, I asked her teacher, “How’d it go today?”
Our beloved Gay Gay replied,
“It was great! Your daughter is so full of herself!”
It was a moment of awakening words and positivity knocked be upside my head.
Here was my daughter: a self-possessed three year old, full of her interests, her curiosity, her body, her life… full of herself!
"You Can't Use Me To Feel Good About Yourself"
It all began when I knit her my 14 year old daughter a sweater. She’d accompanied me to the store to choose a soft, washable yarn in a neutral color she’d actually wear. During Covid I’ve picked up knitting again and found a healthy distraction in searching for patterns and scrumptious yarns. Because my grandmother taught me to knit when I was young, knitting sent a gentle signal to my brain, “Everything’s okay.”
Why Does the College Admissions Scandal Bother Us So Much?
My heart ached because of the obvious social injustice that permeates every aspect of our society but there was more. I realized that the story drew me in because -- if I’m being honest with myself -- I could genuinely relate to the motivation of those parents.
Tiny Shift, Big Impact: How You Praise Your Kids Can Make All the Difference
Remember that day last summer when I took the girls to the pool and I decided to get out of the middle of the parenting road (because heck it’s dangerous standing there!)?Here’s the scene: I’ve got two 9 year old girls, my daughter Sonja and her friend Gracie. These girls are avid swimmers, eager to get to the pool to play. I fantasize that our trip will include my making serious headway with my summer reading (even tho it’s September), while they amuse themselves.
Transforming the Little Moments to Bring in the Light
Here I describe an everyday interaction with my 6 yo, one from BEFORE understanding the Positive Discipline perspective and one, AFTER. I hope this illustration helps you see how simple shifts can deepen your genuine connection with your child.